Hmm.. where is everyone? I don't know of anything happenin' this saturday.. maybe I should give some people some calls. Find out 'where it's at'. Yesterday was kindof fun, for the evening me, Bethy, Janie and Sam went to llandeilo for a musicy live-thingy. It was a bit of a different crowd but ok people. The bands were... ok, Nikolai the most famous round this area were the best but they're not my favourite band. The others ..were.. ok-ish although we got there quite late on so we (thankfully) missed the first few bands..The headliners from london (gosh) were radical in their appearance (cool!) but their music-a-makin' wasn't too special. Heh.. Because they were on last..after 11pm ish.. most people (all the kiddies of about 14) went home (their papernts would want to get to bed i would think) And so at one point, it was only Me, Janie and 3 and 2 other people in the WHOLE room! Listening to this band from london! poor them!! me and Janie were the only ones dancing.. with 3 leaning on the front of the stage (one I htink came with the band) and the other two people (this is exculding one of the band's groopies) were tech people doing the 'levels'.. So basically it was quite sad for them. ..Hehheh kindof funny anyway. Although my ears were ringing so much after.. )-:=

In the day I had my last biol exam!! Yay!! and that means: (yes? dear faithful followers?) Yes! only one more exam left!! Drama, which isn't too stressful. So much so I went to the shop today to some working/getting moneying. And it was a good day. I've just had pizza..and here I arrive again in a circle at the beginning of my post.. I'm bored, what can I do to fill my few hours before bed?

Argh! I'm scared. . . . . I don't want nightmares.. I don't want skin problems.. I don't want KIDNEY problems... but I suppose I don't want malaria either.... S-:=

Ohhhh hhooo ohhhoohh hohoh oooo what are we going to do Beffn??!
We've been prescribed these Malaria drugs we have to take if we want to go to certain places in Malaysia on our adventures.. but they're baaad drugs. So we're a bit apprehensive. Whether to take them anyway.. (Which I think I will) And risk my poor little kidneys and skin being a bit difficult (but there is a chance the side effects will not show themselves) or go to malarial areas and risk getting malaria. -yeah right. Malaria kills and is horrible horrible. And you DIE! Yughch. Wouldn't want plasmodium entering my liver and blood stream so it can rupture all my precious red-blood cells and make life not worth living.

Ok then.. Possible nightmares it is.

But you know how you can sometimes really be almost ok with bad things in the world (to some extent) as long as.. (rather selfishly.. but survial-y) as long as your little world remains stable? If your family and house, friends and what you do daily is affected though.. that's when the trouble starts, you can't deal with things half so well when your foundations are shattered beneath you.. I suppose it's linked to the subject of disability, it's all about what you take for granted, and what is stable and makes you know where you are in life. If that changes it's scary and your feet have to try and stand on what comes out of whatever has happened.

I sooo don't want to get cancer. Apparently cancer rates will triple within 25 years, making the NHS bankrupt and incresing the divide between rich & poor dramatically, in the sense that the rich will be able to pay to survive. And seeing as a greater proportion of 'poor' smoke.. Lung cancer will become a "disease of the poor man". With grim prospects.
I'm not sure how much of this will happen, it's only predictions and estimates. Someone said that this wouldn't happen because Cancer is manily caused by lifestyle choices and that they can be changed with government and public will. Heh. When'll that happen? When it's too late I should think -not as a precaution. Like fattness.. people are starting to die from being waaay too overweight so now we're having to do something about people eating so much sugar salt and fat in their diets. why not think of that before? pfft eh.."we did". Education I think is best. At least then if people know what they are eating, what their body needs and doesn't need and what it does to a great extent and in depth, then it's (kindof) their fault if they actively choose a diet packed full of things that they are concious are 'bad' in too great a quantity.

Ohhhh. I'm so bored. My head hurts. I'm at home ON MY OWN which I'm not good at doing all day, and I'm trying to revise, but there's no-one else here and so there's nothing happening, it's like being stuck in a time warp. Urgh. Why does it make my head hurt though?! My head rarely hurts!! And I've been drinking water enough as I always do. *sniff* 'ts not fair. Someone come and see me!!


*sniff* ohh ho. Oh bod'll b hom soon though.. can I survive 15 mins.. may--be.. just--kep--going... but my head hurts )-:=

Wait! don't worry, you haven't come to the wrong site, this is indeed my blog still.. just changed. With all this up-to-date-technology I thought having the same template still was boring when there was so many fun-er ones. I did get a black one but although it was 'shwish' it wasn't fun enough, so I left that one. This will be my proper blog for now then. When me and Beth go to Singapore/ Malaysia on the 12th of July I'll set up a new one that can be viewed publically to limit the number of emails we'd have to pay to send in cyber cafs. One with pictures and comments and everything. Oh.. and a sensible web address that people can spell and remember S-:=

I'm learning to speak better! It's getting ok-ish now. I can say Ss and Ds and even Ns. "State" and "reach" are a bit dodgy though. Had a biol exam yesterday -Hah! it was so bad it was kindof funny. None of us could do any of the im possibly hard questions.. shish it was bad, but it is the hardest module of the course. Hopefully I'll do ok in this next one and with the A, B and maybe B and B already then an E might not bring me down too badly. Especially if I get a D, C or even B in unit 5 on friday. I'd be happy with a C in A-level Biol, even a D would suit me ok! This is A-level Biol! clever stuff.
And My other subjects should be ok-ish..it's hard to tell... but they should be ok-ish.

I'm looking at Unis now, If I wanted to do a joint course of Psychology and Art then there are really 3 places to do it at, Worcester, Reading or Chester. All nice places that I'd quite like. But now I don't know if I really want to do a joint course? is it too much faffing about? I could just do psychology..and do arty stuff in my free time, but I'm not sure how much I'd enjoy that. I don't know, this university stuff is hard. If only I knew what I wanted to do properly.

I'm going to update links now, including Emi's new bloggg!! Yay!

(-:=

To have a disability? A prober big serious disability that changes the way the way you interact with people must completly change your life in a way you'd never understand until it's happened to you. I can't imagine it, if something big that would mess up your face or voice or eyes or something. Having a very very mild not-being-able-to-speak thing since thursday I felt a tinge of what it must be like. Just this damn clip-in brace that stopped me being able to say anything properly was scary for a while, I really couldn't say anything properly (and Ss?!?!? thothugeth instead of sausages..hmm..) Until next september- I don't think so...But then relitively fast I learnt how to say things differently, and then talking to people who'd had the same made me feel better. I can say things better now, although not half as good as when I take it out. It's nice to have nice people around that are nice. Although talking to strangers is hard because you feel they think this or that because of the fact you talk differnet as opposed to how you consider yourself, and how your consider the way you speak says things about you. I'm beginning to get used to it now, although I get frustrated, but I am really in awe of the amazing people who have adapted to things a bit bigger than a little crappy brace. Really really brilliant people. It scares me a bit to think how easily things can happen to our little bodies.

Anyway, I can never write as well as my thoughts occur to me. And I think of them when I'm away from the computer often so they are remembered thoughts. I crept into bed at 4am this morning (so as not to wake anyone) and woke up again at 1pm and maybe it's due to return to my dear bed again (00:44 now). People don't seem to realise how brilliant my bed really is, it is soo completely awesome I can't express it in words alone. heheehhe.. it's 3/4 (so not quite kingsize) and has a huge couple of quilts (one has been discarded for summer though) and enough pillows for making nests out of, and it's just the right bouncy-ness. Well worth coming home for.

I have only 3 more exams left! (then maybe we can all stop talking about the damned things) Biology, Biology and Drama. These two biology ones are so solidly hard it's kindof depressing, but I'm sure I'll survive.

Bye for now!

Hahah mosquitoes are worse than being 'roobed'. Well, I'm glad we sorted that one out anyway (-:= heeheheh
Well, hello. To nice people, not so nice people, and the people who charade under "nice-people" clothing but don't rally read my blog often. so hmph.

Today I did a geography exam. Heh. If you are a true follower of my blog..or life.. or are my friend, you'll remember that last year I went and answered all the questions of the first section of the geog paper when you're only meant to answer one of them.
Well, here we are again, a year on, a year older, a year more...stupider??!?!?! Speaking to a greeeeat friend (hmm..shooting the messenger here) I semi-realise I MAY have answered the wrong section AGAIN. How dim can you get I wonder (-well I wouldn't be able to answer this because I'd probably say "cabbage because it has the chemical properties of a pineapple" and get zilch marks). Ohhhohhhohh hoooo ohhhh. dear me.. Ah well. I -being me- can take this in my stride and just dismiss it -what's the point in feeling amazed/crappy/stupid when I can't do anything about it now. -But I do have to get the whinning out of my system. I can't believe myself sometimes.

I really can't.


How can you not read the second question??

Although I did answer the first section question preeeetty well I think. HEH not that it will count for much!!! (well I dunno.. it might..)

Dear me.

Well, tonight I'm going to youth theatre / mpyt. Ohh!! Guess what!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?! ?!?!?!?!?
!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! ?!???!!!?!???!?!!?!??!!!? ?!?!!?!??!?!!?!???!?!?! >?!???!?!!?!?!
?!?!!!!?!???!?!?!??!?! ?!?!?!?! we're doing WATERSHIP DOWN for the autumn show!!!! WATERSHIP DOWN!!!! WOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOO!!!! yyaaaaaaay!! must go now! byeee!!

Yo yo buddies, & Happy day to you Katherina-la-fille-a-dix-huit-ans au-jour'd-hui!!! (well...erm...y'know, by "au-jour'd-hui" I mean yesterday really..)

Hey, I've just read Emi-doos bloggee and it's groovee. How true, and it makes much sense. I think similar things often (and sure most do).

I went to my Auntie Jan's 50th Party this sat/sun in Pembroke. It was lovely. We did folk dancing (which I haven't done in a while..but was so fun!!) and a bit of beach walking (not enough in my opinion) and we slept in tents and it was cool. Nice to see my family.

Jan is doing a round-the-world (the wrong way) sailing race for a year soon!!! It's amaaazing! she's also brilliant at doing 'quilt' type things.. They're really beautiful. And she's jointly made a huge quilt of lots of different patches of the places they'll visit, jan's global challenge A year!! round the world on a boat!!

Mostly at the moment, like many of my peers, I'm doing revision. People keep moaning about this and the joke-of-the-month is sarcasm aimed at how fun revision is. But I quite like it..Depending on the subject of course (My prefered is biology) I find it fun.. All you have to do is experiment with the many different forms of memory intake, like images (my prefered obviously..colour is a must also), sound (tried that), stories (works well), writing(the most normal and boring-ist and least working one for me), sticking things round the place (mine is the fridge at the mo), mind maps, motions to the words (like hand movements), and assigning objects (or words) to places on a journey or your house (Derren Brown used that to pass his GCSEs in a department store with penguins I remember). Anyway, I like pictures with colour and stories. Oh and motions. And that way I enjoy doing it! I love to doodle and run about the place pretending I'm Organic Nitrogen in the Nitrogen cycle! And it slots nicely into my brain just fine, (well..to an extent). Yay. Breaks help too I find.. then I can come back to something.. I like it anyway like that. Much more interesting.

(sorry but this bit is all a bit 'me me me'.. you don't have to read through it all, mere thoughts on screen)

I've begun to realise how much I need other people around me.. I have once or twice tried to revise or whatnot at home when the rest of my family are working or whatever. It does my head in!!! My thoughts implode and the minutes and hours stand still.. like mud.. sludgy dark thick mud which you can't see through. I need a) structure to the day..which other people provide, b) human contact )-:= (I do like my fellow species) and c) ..oh I forgot what this one was..umm..there was somehting else.. ah well. you get the point. I need people!! In the film "Castaway" I like to think I'd be one of 'em surviving types, that lasts for years with only a bloody football to keep me company, and manages to live till their one handred and five years old to tell their tale. Nope. Me? I'd have internal compustion of my mind within half a day. And if not I'd adapt to another species and learn to use them as the contact I need. -I'd like to think something romantic like a dolphin..but I'd probably end up making friends with a crab or pet dead fish. (maybe that wouldn't work..) I might even follow a clan of Turtles sweeping through the open waves...ahh....

(-:= hehehe. Back to reeeality then. And reality is: 11.07pm, and I've decided to go into school to revise tomorrow, even though I have an exam on tuesday. This is because school offers structure and human contact, and no-one's at home. And I'm not going to the shop -like I'd get any work at all done there. I spose I could go to someone's house.. but most will be in school I think.. maybe..either because they have and exam or because of some weird natural phenomenon of still having lessons? no..could it be?

au revoir mon amis (I think I will be french one day) C *

Hellooooo there people of the abyss. Nice to see you! (to be said in an optional irish accent)

I've been on another little adventure! (I almost called it a mini adventure..but that, I think is unapporpriate, seeing as it's nothing to do with minis, and it was roughtly 700 or so miles worth of journey..so it can't possibly be mini. Little will do fine.) Well, this time I went on this expedition with Bethy and Emily and even Bryony! up to Hull to see family and friends and stay with my grandma in her new house.

It was a nice trip, there was a couple of times when we all got a bit irritable-but no-one got killed and we soon got over it. We had chinese takeaway on the sea front (it might as well be the sea..but anyone 'in-the-know' will know it was the humber river we were sitting by..) And we went bowling with lots of friends and cousins, and Ice skating for 3 hours (ahhhhh yummmyyyy ice skating..) and watched Eternal sunshine of the spottless mind which I did quite like, despite my cynical pre-judgements about american films. Having just dyed my hair the other day I now want to change it. I almost considered dyeing it blue for my birthday in February but didn't. Maybe now is the time! ..or green..hmm..

We also went out and got bored so left my cousin on his own and found somewhere else much better..until like 2am. That was kindof fun, nice exploration but could have been better fun. Good learning experience anyway.

I went swimming in the sea!! (this time I mean the sea) at 9.30 pm!!! yay! I was so chuffed. swimming at night in May, in a rough-ish sea that was lovely and warm (I don't mean tropical here..I do mean british temps so it was only relitively warm) but very sandy. Ahhhh that was nice.

We....had dinner at my auntie and uncle's house..walked a bit..took some photos...lounged around in the sun a bit.. y'know. The usual nice stuff.

Now.. hmm..I'm bored, I've revised biology for two days and I want some people around me and some entertainment. I don't even know of any parties this weekend! *gasp!!* what am I going to do?!... wait till next week's charity gig! -I can't wait that long!!

Ah well. maybe I'll just concentrate for a while and get these pesky examinations out the way, now wouldn't that be sensible.. only problem is I'm 18 and I find that hard. I just end up thinking about other things! I wonder when you stop this and start being able to concentrate on things other than human survival instincs.

Why is it I become more and more noctournal in the holidays?? even when I have to get up at sensible times I still end up going to sleep at monkey dust hours. (Anyone with good taste and BBC3 should know what rediculous times this brilliant show is on)

Night for now brilliant people!!!